Has Being Chronically Ill Affected My Friendships?

Has Being Chronically Ill Affected My Friendships? Having crohns and then a stoma x2 and near death experiences I have lost a few friends over the years. This being because of cancelled plans or loss of contact due to not always being well enough to maintain friendships.

I am very lucky in the fact I have long time friends that have known me for a long time and understand my cranky ways or alcohol induced shenanigans. I have asked my best friend to write a blog post for me and if she believes my being ill has affected us over the last 10 years.

I first met Katie on my first day working for a well known bank and we was in the same training group. Katie is mental, lovely and a free spirit. She has also given me the balls and enough pep talks over the years to push me forward and aim for things I may not have done had it not been for her witty chats.

We have been through some shit but our love of tea, makeup, cigarettes and table dancing with the occasional face pack and matching pjs has made the friendship solid.

Has Being Chronically Ill Affected My Friendships?

I will now be handing over to Katie. May god help me for what she is going to let out of the bag.

Katie

I remember the first time I met Louise. I was sat in the reception area at my new job and she walked in just after me. Over the next few weeks as we went through training, I don’t think either of us contemplated at any point just how friendly we would become, nor realised what a long standing friendship we would have. So here I am, ten years later writing about  the crazy crank that is my best friend Louise. Louise is one of those people that you find it hard to feel sorry for because it simply doesn’t occur to her – ever – to feel sorry for herself. Over the years I have seen many different sides to Louise, I have seen her stuck in the most awful situations, and I have shared with her some of the very best! I have watched her grow as a woman, and as a partner. I have seen her fall apart and I have seen her fall in love.  I have also seen her do the most remarkable job of practically single handily parenting the most polite, well mannered child I know!

All this whilst going through what I can only describe as a complete rollercoaster of illness, and even now I’m pretty sure I cant even comprehend the half of it. Louise could be feeling terrible and yet she would still have a smile on her face and shrug it off with some kind of ‘typical Louise’ attempt at sarcasm! The thing about Louise that makes me love her just that little bit more is the fact that she doesn’t see herself as a victim. She doesn’t do the whole ‘woe is me’ thing, she cant stand any kind of pity, she doesn’t go on about how terrible things are for her – even at the times when I know they really have been!

I like to pride myself on my ‘live for now’ attitude to life which is another reason why me and Louise get on so well.  She’s fun to be around and her zest for life is infectious. She’s a total live wire – at my own hen do we swapped her for wine! She’s the first up dancing on the tables and the last one off the dance floor! You honestly wouldn’t know she was ‘ill’.  To see her like that you would have no idea that there are days when this crazy, fun loving female cant even make it out of bed.

Louise has the ability to make light of any situation. She will always find a way to work things out, to make things better, to be the peacekeeper, to bring the fun. I am in awe of the way in which she has turned her own ‘problems’ into a way in which to help others. Everything she has done with the show and the blog – honestly , its amazing. Of course, she doesn’t give herself  the credit she deserves but that’s Louise all over, she hasn’t got time to worry about herself as she’s too busy worrying about helping everyone else!

It’s sad to know that Louise has suffered so much being ill, and as a friend you wish that there was something you could do to make it better.  It’s horrible to hear when she has another operation lined up, or another hospital trip for some treatment or other.  Yet despite all of it, this amazing lady that I am very proud to call my friend always seems to find the strength to keep going. She is an amazing mum and her daughter, just like herself, is full of spirit and character.  Louise’s sense of humour ( as messed up as it can be at times!) never fails, and its impossible to spend any significant amount of time with her and not end up smiling and laughing! It’s hard to write about my ‘ill’ friend as I simply don’t consider Louise as that.  She’s my ‘mad’ friend, my ‘loud’ friend, my ‘embarrassing’ friend, my ‘funny’ friend…’ill’ doesn’t even make it into the top ten ways in which I would describe her!

I was pleased to be asked to write this post as you never really take the time to tell people how you feel about them and I saw this as my opportunity to do just that. I hope Louise knows that I’m her ‘proud’ friend … proud of everything she has done, everything she has overcome to get to where she is today, everything she has tackled in terms of her illness and everything she has faced in life ( generally with a smile on her face and a drink in her hand! ) Who ever you are, whatevers ‘wrong’ with you – you could certainly learn a lot about life and what matters from my ‘ill’ friend Louise.

Love you chick

X

Back to Crohnsfighting

Yes your hen do will go down in living memory of that night I got traded to a stag party for wine and spent the best part of half an hour dodging a rather amourous member of that said stag party by hiding in the toilet and under a table if I remember correctly and a hangover the next day to match it. Reading Katie’s perspective about me and our friendship has made me slightly weepy but in a good way. My aim when I started blogging was to help others and today I hope that is what I am doing. Katie’s approach to life always gets me laughing on our weekly phonecalls and messages as its a case of what is she going to do next as her husband is never quite sure and I am always along for the ride. My friends will say my approach to life is never leave me on speaker phone in public places as you never quite know whats going to exit my mouth. Im proud to say that this lady is my friend, louise advocate, crazy friend, free spirited friend and my anchor when I am struggling with what life and crohns disease has to throw at me.

Im feeling rather emotional so it is over and out from the table dancing, drink in hand crazy crank that is CrohnsFighting xxx

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